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re: my last post

Update... hubby said last night when I got home that they wouldn't even really give her until the end of the year. The doctors have said it is pretty advanced.

I should point out that I am not sad, or at least not as sad as maybe I should be. I have had lots of disagreements with her in the past and I cannot help but feel that at 78 she is right in making the choice not to go through the cancer treatments.

I told my husband last night that she has lived a life most would envy, she grew up wealthy (she recalls having "servants" when she was little), went to college when most women didn't, taught school for a year, married a (as she puts it) smart and handsome doctor, had a son and two grandsons, and essentially never wanted for anything. She was afforded the luxury of travel and nice clothes... this doesn't make her actual situation any less sad, but it does seem to give her a sense of peace about leaving this world for whatever comes after. It is something she has accepted, as she does everything else, ... with extreme graciousness.

I guess I feel that she is making the right decision and that undergoing the treatments might be more of an insult ... but, her immediate family, with the exception of her husband (i.e. her sister and her son) don't seem to feel that way, so it is just difficult right now.

Do I hope the doctors are wrong and she has another ten or fifteen years? Sure. Do I want her to live those years being miserable? Nah, I don't dislike her that much! :)

Besides, none of us are guaranteed even one day more. I could leave my office at lunch and get hit by a bus, why bemoan her having "only a year" when she has had 78 good years already.

Someone tell me I am not being a jackass?

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
houses7177
Sep. 27th, 2005 02:10 pm (UTC)
You are not being a jackass. You're being compassionate. I understand your grandmother's viewpoint, but also those of her sister and son. It's hard to let go of someone you love, even if it is for the best.

Oh, and I love the new journal layout.
gritkitty
Sep. 27th, 2005 02:12 pm (UTC)
Someone tell me I am not being a jackass?

You feel what you feel. To argue feelings gets everyone nowhere except, well, usually angry or hurt.

Cancer is tough. I will keep a good thought for all of you.
dragonsangel68
Sep. 27th, 2005 02:14 pm (UTC)
You are not being a jackass!

I've seen firsthand the devastation cancer treatments can have on a patient. At the age of 78 I think going out graciously without putting her through the additional drama of treatment is the best thing. I hope her immediate family come to understand her decision.

*huggles*
alphapythia
Sep. 27th, 2005 02:16 pm (UTC)
Nah you're not being a jackass, but all gemini's need the occasional reminder, "emotion cannot be reasoned with, no matter how much we feel it ought be."


gilathief
Sep. 27th, 2005 02:37 pm (UTC)
*goes all kyle's mom on you*

Wh-wh-what?!?!?!?!?!?
word_herder
Sep. 27th, 2005 07:19 pm (UTC)
Jackass? NO. Most definitely not. Even my grandmother, who has fought of three different types of cancer and did do the treatments, said that if they wouldn't work, they wouldn't work and she would go Home.

(I second the "I LOVE YOUR LAYOUT" remarks. I love Snoopy and Friends!)
word_herder
Sep. 27th, 2005 07:20 pm (UTC)
*fought off

{sigh}
gilathief
Sep. 27th, 2005 07:55 pm (UTC)
thanks for the comment... and I knew what you meant... blasted LJ not letting us edit comments!
empressvesica
Sep. 28th, 2005 12:57 am (UTC)
Not a jackass at all. All of that is much what I would be thinking.
jenny_rambles
Sep. 28th, 2005 02:14 pm (UTC)
I don't think you're being a jackass. We went through that same thing with my grandma. She was diagnosed with Lou Gherigs and when it got really bad she chose to not have a feeding tube. No one wanted her to suffer - but no one wanted her to die either.
In the end it was the right decision - but it was hard.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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