November 10th, 2003

Why Me? Penguin


I feel so backward... it's like I am walking around with my shoes on backward and on the wrong feet in some sort of weird alternate universe where things are in slow motion and nothing ever really changes. I feel kind of like Sissyphus (sp?)...

Don't know what is wrong with me lately, but I have been in a weird kind of clingy mood calling up people then having nothing to say wanting to say "Hey let's do something, I need to be with people," then not feeling up to it and instead leaving messages like call me if you want, but if you don't that's okay.

I think it is self-imposed guilt resulting from my lack of personal statement and the fact that nothing I have written so far in two pages of dredge actually amounts to anything. I feel sick. All this paperwork should have been in last week, but I still didn't have a personal statement. I mean, I even called about putting the application fee on my card since I am out of checks, but still no personal statement. I know part of this is that I hate personal writing, but another part is the huge feeling of personal ineptness I am feeling as of late. I just need to get it done. I have to keep reminding myself that they are looking for a personal statement not a Pulitzer Prize winner. ARGH! I hate this!

Now I have to count on the fact that they will accept my application late. ACK!

In other news, (god I use this phrase too much that and parentheses oh crap now I am doing both!) I had immense fun watching the eclipse this weekend, it was lovely and I even saw a few Leonids, more watching of those next weekend I hope.

Until at least Wednesday I am broadbandless, so the only updates will be while I am here at work. Oh and I so woefully want to buy the extra userpics as I spent the weekend with my connection making more icons, but alas, I need to rein in my spending so it will be a while... (I use ellipses too much too!)

Edited to add: I think this would have been Sirius Black's father's name: "Aldebaran". Is Sirius's father's name ever mentioned in the books? I didn't think so...