Gilathief (gilathief) wrote,

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Small Towns, Big Dreams

I am listening to "Life Happened" by Tammy Cochran. The song has had a big impact on me.

You see, I have a habit of living in my head...

I think I am bad at being pragmatic and from my experience people who are pragmatic do lead happier lives. Satisfying yourself with small victories and setting realistic goals is a part of getting by in this world I guess.

Lots of times though I still want to chase my dreams and I keep thinking that everyday I put it off is one more day that I concede defeat. There has to be a better way to think of it, but I haven't found it yet.

This song is very upbeat about it all, but sometimes I find it hard to be. I am currently young enough to try my hand at something else, but I am a fraidy cat and now I have a husband and a house and a bunch of things I wouldn't want to give up for a shot at something that probably wouldn't work out anyway.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? Am I living in my head too much? Am I just being whiny and unrealistic? What if I really have talent that is going to waste?

I think it is a function of growing up in a small town... While I was never popular or athletic I was the drama queen in high school and everyone knew me because of drama class and the plays. I was smart, but most people knew me because I was the lead in just about everything (Juliet, Lady MacBeth, Madame Popov, etc.). I always wanted to try, well, you know acting (among other things).

I have a friend whose husband is the same way. He started out as a theatre major and when he decided to become a history major instead his parents refused to pay for school, they were convinced he could be a star. Now he has friends who have moved to the West Coast to try their luck and other friends who have traveled abroad etc. People who, in short, aren't afraid to chase their dreams. Andy and I constantly lament our own fate when we hear their stories, while my friend chides us both for not doing something more proactive about our dreams.

Here are the lyrics if you're interested:

Life HappenedCollapse )
Tags: personal, whiny

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